Father's Day

An entire week remains before Father’s Day, but the advertising is already driving me crazy.

My Dad died nearly five years ago, but I still cringe when I see the ads suggesting this or that product to buy Dad for his day. The same thing happened in May for Mother’s Day. Mom died less than a year ago, so that one hit me even harder. But Father’s Day advertising seems more aggressive.

I wonder if boomers are prepared for stuff like this. I wasn’t. My parents were great role models for things like parenting or saving money, but not for dealing with the death of a parent. I was a kid when three of my four grandparents died, so I barely remember my parents’ reaction to the deaths of their parents. I also don’t recall their emotional state for the next few years following those deaths.

Grief doesn’t go away. We can get used to the loss of a loved one, and over time some of the sadness is reduced. We find a place in our head and heart, and the feeling sort themselves out.

My Dad and I weren’t especially close, but during his last few years and the years since his death, I have grown to appreciate him and what he taught me. I regularly have Dad moments: I’ll be working on some carpentry or yard project and I do something just like he would have done it. Then I realize that is what I am doing.

I was at his side when he died and I watched him take his last breath. Over time my feelings did sort themselves out, and I no longer get that emotional when I think of him. Except around Father’s Day.