Tonight’s Channel Surfing

My new computer has a TV tuner, which means I can surf the channels while I surf the net. I could just stop on the Guide channel and read the list of what’s on, but nooooo – I’d rather stop at each channel to confirm my suspicion that there isn’t anything on tonight that I want to watch.

Care to join me for my channel surfing tour? Here’s some of what’s on:

Home Alone

Mary Poppins

Jingle All The Way – Friday must be movie night.

Man vs. Wild – if you catch a Paraná for food, make sure you cook it thoroughly because it has many parasites … I’ve always wanted to know that.



CSI: Miami – does David Caruso ever face the camera? For nearly every scene he is standing sideways. And do you think that just once … he could say the words to … a whole sentence … in a row … without … pausing?

A Crown Royal commercial – does it taste as good as it looks? I don’t remember. I mostly drink wine and sometimes beer.

White Christmas – Bing sings the classic to soldiers in the middle of a war zone. Hmmmm.

History Channel - a promo for a show about the hunt for John Wilkes Booth.

VH1 – The 100 Greatest Songs of the 1990s – You do know that the singer’s name is NOT Hootie, don’t you?

City Slickers – I’ve had two mid-life crisis periods and in neither case did I want to go on a trail drive.

Him - Four people arguing about Drew Peterson and his missing wife.

Rachel Ray – any day now, she’ll be on more channels than Law & Order reruns.



Travel Channel – a program about a haunted lighthouse

NUMB3RS – that’s how they spell it. A drama about numerology geeks who solve crimes. Isn’t it cool that geeks are finally stars? CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Cold Case – all shows with science geek characters in prominent roles.

Him again, on Dateline - a discussion about Drew Peterson and his missing wife. Him again! This is almost as annoying as the OJ case was.

BBC World News. Why do people who speak English with a British accent always sound so intelligent? This anchor’s story about a little girl’s missing goldfish sounds like a doctoral dissertation.

Weather Channel – patchy drizzle? Is that a meteorological term? And why are they playing the Charlie Brown music during my Local On The 8s?

ESPN – Dallas is winning, with 6 left in the 1st half.

ESPN2 – FLA ATL is ahead of MEMPHIS. Who is FLA ATL and why are these teams playing in the Louisiana Superdome? Guess I’m not much of a sports fan. Where is the NASCAR Channel?

Comcast SportsNet DC - with all these sports channels, I wish I was more of a sports fan. Where is the Dog Agility Channel? Can I get that if I buy the top shelf package? Or would I have 300 channels and nothing to watch, rather than my current 78 channels and nothing to watch?

Under The Mistletoe – looks like every Christmas movie except It’s A Wonderful Life is on tonight.

The 40 Year Old Virgin – OK, not every movie tonight is a Christmas movie.