Making a living gets in the way of actually living.

Tonight I have mentally given up the idea of continuing my return to college. If this feeling continues, I will never get my college degree. For the most part, the lack of a college degree has not held me back from making a good living through my career, but it is frustrating that I never actually got the diploma.

My return has been a noble effort to study and learn history, a subject that I am interest in. It takes time, however to be a student. By time, I mean several hours a week for each credit hour of class. The specific recommendation is two to three hours of additional reading, writing and study for each hour of class. For older students who are out of practice, those numbers are minimums. That adds up to more than twelve hours a week for my one history class, a three credit hour class.

But I also need time for exercise, downtime, conversation with my wife and everything else I want to do in life. An 8-hour-a-day job that is only 8 hours would help, as would a normal person’s commute. I have neither. Last week was even busier than usual at work and one of my commutes was twice the already long amount because of an ice storm. All of that is a mental drain that interferes with the concentration needed to take a college course.

This is so frustrating and depressing, especially because I liked the professor and a couple of my classmates who were also history majors. The worst part of all of this is that at present, making a living gets in the way of actually living.

I will probably get past the mood I’m in tonight and try this college thing one more time, in the fall. That gives me seven or eight months to reprioritize my entire damn life. Wish me luck.