The Ultimate Diet

How many diet plans are there? And how many have you tried? The word diets in a Google search returns 26 million results; that number is 66 million in a Yahoo search.

What’s a dieter to do?

Weight gain is normal for Boomers. And I honestly believe that the only successful way to lose weight is to eat well-balanced, relatively low-fat, modestly low-calorie meals and stick to a basic exercise regimen. At the moment, however, that strategy is not working for me. I only need to drop twenty pounds to get back in the ideal range for my height but so far I’ve lost less than five of those pounds since starting my plan in January; and I gained them all back in March.

There are reviews of 50 different diets on the WebMD site. Some are highly-advertised weight loss plans you have probably heard of, such as Atkins, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach and Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Solution. There is even one connected to the Biggest Loser television show. Some less well-known diets include the Fat Smash Diet, the French Women Don’t Get Fat Diet, the Hallelujah Diet, Eat This Not That and the Shangri-La Diet.

But I’ve invented one that is so simple that I’m surprised no one thought of it before. I call it the No Cash Diet.

A thorough analysis of my eating habits this year revealed a serious addiction to the vending machines at work. I’ve even written about this in the past. When I get the 3pm hungries, which happens nearly every day, I grab a few quarters from my desk drawer or a dollar bill from my wallet and head for the nearest vending machine. There are five where I work. I convince myself that the potatoes in potato chips make that choice sorta, kinda healthy. And hey, Snickers bars contain peanuts. That’s healthy, right?



I ran out of quarters during the second half of February and for some reason I had no dollar bills in my wallet for almost three weeks. The machines at work won’t accept fives or tens and I didn’t really want to ask someone to make change. I lost five pounds during February. You do the math: no cash, less weight. Proof that the No Cash Diet works!

The plan is brilliant in its simplicity! If you are a marketing wiz, feel free to steal it. If you’re looking for a diet, try it and let me know your results. I’ll keep you posted on mine.