Cult?

I think I’ve joined a cult. After years of hearing about this “club” I decided to join it today.

They have meeting sites scattered all over the United States. When you visit one of their meeting places you have to prove you are one of them to get in the door, a bright orange steel mesh affair with big locks.

In a way, they are like survivalists. They move supplies by the millions of items every day, right in plain site… everything from paper towels to clothes to meat. Some members even turn to them for innocent services ranging from insurance to wedding planning. I guess some of their members marry each other; many members are already married and join as couples.

Members of this organization swear by it. They talk to each other and anyone who will listen about the benefits of joining. Unlike other cults, however, these crafty members are out in the open about what they do. But non-members have no idea what it’s like till they actually see for themselves.

Meetings aren’t actually scheduled, but the meeting place is available to members at selected hours and days. Their rituals include a friendly greeting at the orange metal door, followed by a casual walk in the same direction down an aisle through at least half of their meeting site. Somewhere in the middle, the members split off into various directions in search of who knows what. New members are easy to spot because they don’t make eye contact with other members at first; new members are usually overwhelmed by the enormity of the meeting place.

They use normal currency to finance their transactions, I assume to avoid detection. But they also have their own currency, similar in appearance to a credit card, with the name of their cult boldly printed right on the card for all to see: COSTCO.